Deux

I have this awful recurring theme in my dreams lately and I don't know why.

In them, the setting may be different but what is going on is usually the same. My boyfriend/partner wants me to be in an open relationship with someone else. Or, more accurately, HE wants to adopt another female into the relationship.

This time I was in a house that, on the outside, resembled a house I lived in growing up. On the inside it was completely different and the layout really didn't make much sense. It had a lot of bedrooms though.

Everything was going fine in the dream until the other chick, who I want to say was my sister, showed up and I started getting weird vibes like something bad would come out of it. Then, my partner, my sister, and I began sharing a room and a bed. For some reason my sister (or chick that looked like my sister but really wasn't - you know how dreams go) was always lying between us on the bed or in the way some how. I started getting mad because I wanted to be beside my partner. I didn't want to share him.

The whole time I was throwing fits and making my partner chase be around but he just kept treating me like I was acting ridiculous for not wanting her around and for acting out about it.

Then something tragic happened and some kids went missing and my partner was going crazy trying to find my sister/other chick. That devastated me because I felt betrayed and like I was being cast to the side.

Man.

Why the hell am I dreaming about something like this over and over?

I am probably insecure about something but it is totally weird because my partner and I are really close. We're best friends and I know he doesn't want anything like that to happen, either.

I do feel lately that I have been a little worried about some kind of distance or separateness between us. A disconnectedness, if you will.

Either way it makes me feel cast aside and vulnerable.

I hate waking up without him here!

Uno

Last night I had a dream about starting a blog to keep up with what I dream about.

That's not why I'm writing this though. I actually had this idea before I fell asleep last night. I guess I was just so caught up with the idea and what are good and what are bad options for blogging that I just sort of went on obsessing about it in my sleep.

Unfortunately I don't really remember what my sleeping mind decided were acceptable blog ideas, but I do remember that they were all neatly lined up on a bookshelf, ready to be gone through! When I thought about them, the books (ideas) rearranged themselves on the shelf in my mind ... yes, Harry Potter style! Not that I really watch HP. I haven't in years. But it was interesting, all the same!

So the plan is to update this blog every morning when I wake up with a dream that I remember!

I'm going to warn you guys though, I dream about some pretty wacky shit sometimes, and I don't plan on being shy!